Family Moments January 2012

Here is the link for the Family Moments for January 2012.
Family Moments January 2012

Remember:

The first Sunday of each month, families have the option of downloading a Family Moments packet to print off at home. These Family Moments Packets will have a central theme for that month and will contain 4 Family Night Moments. The family can do these once a week or all in one week if they choose.  

Each Family Night Moment will have three main facets:  First, there will be a fun, family friendly dinner recipe.  This will be an easy recipe for all to participate in making.  Next, there will be a Bible study which will include activities and applications for all to do during the week. Third, there will be key verses for the family to memorize.

Enjoy and make some great Moments with your family this month!

“You shall love the LORD your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your might. These words, which I am commanding you today, shall be on your heart. You shall teach them diligently to your sons and shall talk of them when you sit in your house and when you walk by the way and when you lie down and when you rise up.”  Deut 6:5-7 

Family Moments

A Moment: Webster defines it as a “point of time.”  I prefer to unpack it a bit more. The Latin origin of moment comes from movimentum, where we get our word momentum, and it literally means “to turn the scales.”  Simply put, a moment can makes a difference in our lives.  Now why the English lesson? Let me explain…

Beginning in January of 2013, I will be giving parents a new “tool” for their families’ spiritual tool box: Family Moments.

The first Sunday of each month, families have the option of downloading a Family Moments packet to print off at home. These Family Moments Packets will have a central theme for that month and will contain 4 Family Night Moments. The family can do these once a week or all in one week if they choose. 

 

Each Family Night Moment will have three main facets:  First, there will be a fun, family friendly dinner recipe.  This will be an easy recipe for all to participate in making.  Next, there will be a Bible study which will include activities and applications for all to do during the week. Third, there will be key verses for the family to memorize.  

“You shall love the LORD your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your might. These words, which I am commanding you today, shall be on your heart. You shall teach them diligently to your sons and shall talk of them when you sit in your house and when you walk by the way and when you lie down and when you rise up.”  Deut 6:5-7  NASB

If we are to take ownership of raising our children to Love the Lord all their days, then let’s continue to make a difference in their lives; it begins with a moment.

A Growing Bond-Servant to the King,

Joe

Weight-loss tips to help Joe out...and maybe you.

I have decided, once again, that I need to concentrate and get in better health. The needs to start with losing some unnecessary weight. You all know how much I enjoy to eat...so I am in for a fun ride.
So I took the time to look up and research some tips to help me. I thought I would share those also with you. As parents, we really should do our best to set an example for our children and stay healthy for many years to come!


Here are 25 tips for losing weight from registered dietitians Dawn Jackson Blatner, Elizabeth Ward, Bonnie Taub-Dix and Keith Ayoob:


1. Set a realistic weight-loss goals. One-half a pound to 2 pounds a week is about right.

2. Keep track of what you consume. Dieters who keep track of everything they eat lose twice as much weight as those who don't, research shows.

3. Motivate yourself. Get a pair of jeans or pants that are too tight and hang them in the kitchen instead of the closet to keep yourself inspired.

4. Enlist the help of family and friends. Dieters who have support from a partner at home lose more weight than those who don't, studies show.

5. Move it to lose it. Research shows that people who do physical activities such as walking or biking for two to four hours a week during weight-loss efforts lose an extra 3 to 5 pounds over a year.

6. Pay attention to portions. A 3-ounce portion of meat, poultry or fish is about the size of the palm of your hand or a deck of cards; 1 teaspoon of butter or margarine, a standard postage stamp; a cup of cold cereal, berries or popcorn, a baseball; 4-inch pancake or waffle, the diameter of a CD.

7. Clean out your pantry and refrigerator. Get rid of the foods that sabotage your weight loss.

8. Create "a dinner deck." This would include 10 favorite quick and healthful dinners written on index cards. Each card should list the ingredients for the recipe on one side and directions for making it on the other.

9. Avoid hunger. Eat regular meals and snacks. Make sure you have some protein foods such as yogurt, tuna, beans or chicken for most meals. Research suggests that protein helps you feel full longer.

10. Keep produce on hand. Place a bowl of vegetables such as broccoli, snap peas, cucumbers or carrot sticks in the refrigerator. You can eat them as a snack or when preparing meals to take the edge off your hunger.

11. Stock up on "impulse fruits." Keep things like grapes, clementines, small apples, small bananas and pears around the house. These foods are easy to eat without having to do much cutting and slicing.

12. Make some stealth changes. This will get everyone in the family eating healthier. Buy low-fat 1% or skim milk, low-fat cream cheese and reduced-fat cheese instead of the full-fat versions. Use them in recipes to cut the fat and calories.

13. Cut out liquid calories. Eliminate soda and sugary drinks such as sweetened iced tea, sports drinks and alcoholic beverages. Liven up the taste of water by adding lemon, lime, cucumber or mint. Choose fat-free and 1% low-fat milk.

14. Practice the "Rule of One." When it comes to high-calorie foods, you won't go wrong if you allow one small treat a day. That might be one cookie or a fun-size candy bar.

15. Pace, don't race. Force yourself to eat more slowly, and savor each bite.

16. Hydrate before meals. Drinking 16 ounces, or two glasses, of water before meals may help you eat less.

17. Downsize plates, bowls, glasses, silverware. Using smaller versions of your serving ware will help you eat less food.

18. "After 8 is too late." Adopt the motto for snacks after dinner.

19. Buy a pedometer and get moving. Health experts recommend taking at least 10,000 steps a day, which is roughly 4 to 5 miles, depending on your stride length.

20. Treat yourself occasionally. If your chocolate craving is getting to you, try diet hot-chocolate packets. If you need a treat, go out for it, or buy small prepackaged portions of ice cream bars. If you love chocolate, consider keeping bite-size pieces in the freezer.

21. Dine at a table. Eat from a plate while seated at a table. Don't eat while driving, lounging on the couch or standing at the fridge. At restaurants, ask for a doggy bag at the beginning of the meal, and pack up half to take home. Take one roll and ask your server to remove the bread basket from the table.

22. Eat out without pigging out. Figure out what you are going to eat in advance of going to the restaurant. Order the salad dressing on the side. Restaurants usually put about one-quarter cup (4 tablespoons) of dressing on a salad, which is often too many calories. Best to stick with 1 to 2 tablespoons. Dip your fork into the dressing and then into the salad.

23. Get plenty of sleep. Scientists have found that sleep deprivation increases levels of a hunger hormone and decreases levels of a hormone that makes you feel full. Lack of sleep also plays havoc with your fat cells, recent research showed. This can lead to overeating and weight gain.

24. Weigh yourself regularly. That's what successful dieters and those who manage to maintain weight loss do. Some step on the scales once a week. Others do so daily. Some find once a month is enough.

25. Reward yourself. When you meet your incremental weight loss goals, say losing 5 pounds, treat yourself to something — but not food. Buy a CD or DVD you've been wanting or go out to a movie with a friend.

Lying Child

I am reposting an article by Dr. John K. Rosemond. The article is titled Lying Child.


Lying Child

Dec 14, 2012 by John Rosemond

Question: Our 7-year-old has always been a great, respectful, funny little kid. However, recently he started lying and become a little sneaky. We punished him by taking his television privilege away and making him write apology letters as well as apologizing over the phone to everyone he has lied to. We have explained to him that he is losing our trust and that we do not want to see this kind of behavior continue. Is this "typical" behavior for a 7 year old boy? What is an appropriate punishment and more importantly, how can we get him to stop?

Answer: You're doing the right thing, as in having him apologize to those he’s lied to and suffer other moderate consequences.

It is not unusual for children to experiment with lying, usually in the form of fabricating stories that haven’t happened. More often than not, the child in question is otherwise well-adjusted, like your son. Let’s face it, children do odd things, some more than others. It’s the nature of the species. This is most likely just a passing phase, something he's experimenting with, seeing if he can fool people and what sort of reaction he gets when the lie is discovered.

Along those lines, it may be that he has discovered that this gets a rise out of you. In that event, this little glitch might continue for a while no matter what you do. The bigger a deal you make of it, the worse it’s likely to get. The important thing is to be nonchalant about this as opposed to bent out of shape. Attitude is everything!


Copyright 2012, John K. Rosemond

*About the Author: Rosemond has written nine best-selling parenting books and is one of America's busiest and most popular speakers, known for his sound advice, humor and easy, relaxed, engaging style. In the past few years, John has appeared on numerous national television programs including 20/20, Good Morning America, The View, Bill Maher's Politically Incorrect, Public Eye, The Today Show, CNN, and CBS Later Today.


Read more at http://www.arcamax.com/parents/johnrosemond/s-1248884#BjjmlGC61R8U8FYW.99 

Your kid’s an All Star? Wow! Someday he’ll be average like the rest of us.

This is a blog written by Scott Linscott. Pastor Bill Connors shared it with me this afternoon.  I have personally have asked many parents, "What is your goal? Harvard or Heaven?" So as I read this blog, it really struck a cord for me.  He speaks hard, cold truth about our values and priorities we set up for our children. As Scott states that he "might tick you off in this post" so be prepared to have your heart wrought by what he brings and also be prepared to due a self-evaluation of your parenting style.

Again, I share this with love...doing whatever is necessary to bring one into the righteousness of God.

What is Influencing Your Children?

As a parent one of our responsibilities is to influence our children, but how often do we stop and look at the things influencing us?

The Pilgrims were called Separatists as they wanted to separate from the Church of England. After years of trying to leave England they finally made it to Holland. However once there, they realized that their children were being influenced by the local culture and this greatly concerned them. They knew the dangers on their children being influenced by those who did not have Jesus as their Lord and Savior.

Many of us today just accept what TV, movies and music send our way without checking to see if it is influencing us away from what God’s word says. We don’t want others to think we are different, old fashioned or out of touch with the modern world. We are more influenced by what others think, or what is fashionable in the world than we are by, “thus saith the Lord.”

The Pilgrims reaction to this unwanted influence was quick, decisive and drastic. To increase the Godly influence on the children and eliminate the worldly influence they were willing to do the following.

• Leave their friends, family and surroundings
• Sell all of their possessions
• Stay 66 days in the hold of a ship just 68ft by 22ft
• Go to a land, where almost 90% of the last colony planted had died
• Move to a land where the natives were know to be hostile and kill Europeans
• Move where there were no buildings, houses, stores, doctors or anything else
• Face harsh winters with freezing temperatures while living in small wooden houses
• Face starvation as they could only bring very limited amounts of food
• Leave behind every convenience of civilized society.
• Face years of back breaking work, hardship and isolation
• Never see their family again

The Pilgrims were serious about removing evil influence on their children and themselves. And they were right. Their decision helped start the greatest nation in the history of mankind. Their influence has carried on now for almost 400 years touching and shaping the lives of millions.

We know what the Pilgrims did to limit the world’s influence, and what the reward of their decision was. Question now is what are we as parents willing to do to limit the world’s influence on ourselves and our children, and what kind of reward will we receive?

Three Things Parents Can Do That Ensures Irresponsible Entitled Adult Children

I am still on my course of "entitlement" and what that is doing or has done to our country. Are you looking for Christian parenting help on how to raise responsible children? There is a marked rise of irresponsible adult children that need help from their parents well into adulthood. While there are many justifiable reasons for this such as a bad economy, the high cost of living, the increase in college tuition, there are also plenty of unjustified reasons such as laziness, addictions, irresponsible decisions, and a lack of maturity. Prevention is always the best policy. With that in mind, here are three things you can do with your young children that ensure irresponsible entitled behavior in adults:

Make excuses for their irresponsibility. 
Whether it is with homework, chores, carelessness, or immaturity, if you excuse what they have done and don't allow them to face the natural consequences of their choices, you are teaching them that they don't have to live with the outcome of their choices. Instead, you want them to face those consequences so that they will learn that there is a cause and effect in life-if you don't pay attention and do what you need to do, you will face unpleasant consequences and things won't go well with you. This is God's law of reaping and sowing (Gal. 6-8).

Intervene in their battles. 
Of course there is a time for parents to protect their children from abuse and actual harm, but most of the time it is actually best to allow children to learn how to stand up to people who mistreat them and to make their own case against people that accuse them of things. Parents won't always be around and children need to be taught that they have the ability to make choices that can protect themselves. This keeps them from developing a passive victim mentality that can be used as an excuse to not stand up for themselves and fight for what is right (Ps. 56:11).

Give them everything they want. 
This one should be pretty obvious. If you give children everything they want, they don't learn the value of hard work, saving, and withholding gratification. They become child brats who become adult brats who don't appreciate what they have and yet feel entitled to it. No one can succeed in life without learning how to set and work toward goals which require sacrifice, patience, and diligence. When children don't learn how to manage money, they mismanage it as adults. When children don't learn how to deny themselves pleasure, they become addicts and immature selfish adults who expect everything they want to be given to them without any effort on their own. The Apostle Paul reminded the church that if a man doesn't work, he doesn't get to eat (2 Thess. 3:10).

If you don't want to raise irresponsible entitled adult children, let them face the consequences of their own choices, face their own battles, and work for what they get.  Just Saying...

Learning Obedience: The Great Debate

When is it OK for your child to "question" your authority? Does your child have a right to "negotiate" rules or commands set in the family household? When is it appropriate for them to make their own "adjustments" to the rules set forth by the parents?
I was going to write down my thoughts more completely and then this article came across my reader by Cheri Swalwell, Crosswalk.com Contributing Writer. She summed up most what I was thinking and of course, better articulated it than I probably would have.
So take some time to read her article...what do you think??




“And this is love: that we walk in obedience to his commands…” - 2 John 1:6

Argue…debate…rationalize...manipulate.  I think we could agree that most families are made up of at least one child (if not more) than does this a little bit better than the rest.  When given a direction, instead of just saying, “Yes, mom,” and fulfilling the request, a long list of reasons why it should be done later, shouldn't be done at all, or how it could be done better follows.  

One of the characteristic traits my husband and I stress in our household is that by obeying your parents, you are in reality learning how to obey God, our ultimate authority.  One of the reasons we stress that rule is so that I have the assurance in an emergency when my children need to stop or be quiet when I tell them to, they will obey first and ask questions later.  By obeying my authority right then, it could very well mean my children avert a disaster instead of getting hurt or even worse.  

Isn't it like that sometimes in our relationship with God?  He gives us clear guidelines in the Bible for our own good.  The rules in the Bible aren't there because He was bored one day and needed something to do.  No, the rules are there to help us live a purposeful, fulfilling, and at least as much as possible, peaceful life here on Earth.  He put them there for our own good.  It is our responsibility to obey first, ask questions later.

But how many of us actually do that?  How many of us, in reality, are willing to step out in faith and just obey God?  Yes, it’s easy to follow the Big rules:  Don’t murder, Don’t steal, Don’t commit adultery.  What about the little rules?  Are we really following those when we are jealous of our friend’s 3000 square foot house compared to our 1500 square foot house?  What about when we rationalize that taking office supplies from work and using them at home for our kid’s school project really isn't stealing - it’s owed to us?  Lastly, what about when we fudge on the time sheet a little bit, since “no one will notice anyway.”  

As important as it is to teach our kids to obey our authority which teaches them to obey God’s ultimate authority, there is another side to the story. 

Yes, I firmly agree that there are times when our children need to just obey - without arguing, whining, debating, manipulating.  However, there are other times when listening to their opinions and asking them how to solve an issue might grow their independence, reasoning skills, and learning responsibility.  

I’m not talking about life-and-death situations.  There are certain nonnegotiable items in life, but there are also lots of gray areas.  As a parent, I’m learning that it’s important to distinguish between the two while our kids are still young, so that when they hit middle and high school and their independence really needs to blossom, these skills will already be in place.  For a semi-control-freak like myself, this is sometimes a hard lesson to teach.  

It’s important to look at the big picture.  As the parent, I want certain things done in a certain time frame.  For instance, chores need to be completed before my kids participate in a fun activity, they need to be relatively clean and presentable (including shower, appropriate clothes, hair and teeth brushed), and they need to learn how to make appropriate decisions in a variety of situations.  But…can’t the end result look different for each family and possibly even for each family member?  

Taking into consideration that each child is an individual, isn't it acceptable to allow one child to do his chores in the morning because he wakes up fresh and ready to tackle the day, whereas allowing the other child a chance to slowly greet the morning and still have hers done by lunchtime?  Is it super important to take a shower at night, or can one child take their shower in the morning as long as there is enough time to catch the bus?  Yes, there are certain clothes for certain situations, but within that boundary, isn't it more important that your child work on his or her own sense of style while still living under your roof, time for a child to experiment with individual taste before that all important job interview?  And isn't it more important that your child came up a solution, unique to him and his situation, that you agree with, when dealing with the bully, the awkward social situation, or the problem with friends?

Some Things I'm Thankful For...

A friend of mine inspired me with his random list of things he is thankful for. As I read through his list, it made me pause and think of some of the things that I am thankful for.
So here is my list, not in any particular order, until you get to the end...

1. Sushi
2. Flavored CoffeeMate
3. Cherry tomatoes
4. Smell of the morning at Inlow
5. The kiddos in our Children's Ministry
6. Singing of children during VBS
7. Reading His Word
8. A good book
9. Chili cheese dogs
10. My parents living in the same city
11. Mango slices
12. Ability to breathe
13. The "Pauls" in my life
14. Houston Clan

And these are those that I'm truly thankful everyday for...

1. Ryne...His daily love and encouragement for Sam is such a blessing
2. Baylee's ability to shine and bring excitement to any room
3. Samantha's growing faith and her love for children
4. My Beloved...She is my best friend and an amazing lady after God's own heart
5. Finally, my Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ

Stop and ask yourself...what am I thankful for....

The Power Struggle of Children

Just finished this article by John Rosemond. It really struck me because I truly feel like we have become a nation of entitlements, starting with the way we raise our children. We give in to their pressures and that of the culture. A 12 year old does not need an i-Pad. For them to properly function as a 12 year old, that item of luxury is not necessary. Instead, we as parents and guardians, give in so as not to cause "conflict" or "trouble" in the home. Dr. Rosemond really spoke to me and hopefully will speak to you also as parents so we can begin to turn the tide of this attitude of "I'm entitled" to "I am grateful."

12-Year-Old Grandson Wants Cell Phone and iPad
Nov 16, 2012 by John Rosemond
Question: My 12-year-old grandson has become obsessed with things he wants, including a cell phone (the most expensive, mind you), an iPad, and expensive designer jeans. He begs, throws tantrums, pouts, refuses to speak to his parents, and the like. When told not to say another word, he leaves them notes, draws pictures, or comes to us or the other grandparents. These obsessions and his very manipulative behavior are a mystery because he’s never been given an excess of material things. My daughter and her husband have addressed this with common-sense talk about greed, excess, obsessions, and self-control. What should we do to solve this problem?

Answer: First, I feel obsessively compelled to point out that talking to a 12-year-old about greed, excess, obsessions, and self-control is not an example of “common-sense talk.” These are not concepts that the average 12-year-old understands. An example of “common-sense talk” would be as follows: “We are not going to buy that for you, ever, no matter what you say or do. When you are older and are earning your own money, you can buy it for yourself.”

You would probably tell me that his parents have told him words to that effect and he continues to obsess and pester and pout and throw tantrums. Pardon me for speculating, but I have to believe that his parents have been less than unequivocal. My guess is they’ve occasionally (perhaps rarely) told him “No” in no uncertain terms, but then at other times they go on and on about greed, excess, and so on, trying to persuade him to accept their decision. If that’s the case, then allow me to point out that your grandson (like all children) perceives persuasion as a weakness. He can simply refuse to be persuaded and even though he doesn’t get what he wants, he’s “won” that round.

Even though obsessive thinking is often indicative of a psychological problem, I think you’re describing a power struggle. Your grandson’s parents need to stop participating. They need to make themselves perfectly clear, and accomplishing that is going to require some “drastic” measures on their part.

Drastic Measures: When he’s at school, his parents remove anything and everything from his room that isn’t completely necessary, including favorite but unnecessary clothing. When he comes home from school, they sit down with him and inform him that he’s going to live that way until his inappropriate requests, tantrums, pouting, and the like have completely stopped for a continuous period of two weeks and that until that happens, he is also going to bed at 7:00. This “conversation” should last no more than two minutes, during which they should stick to the following facts: (1) Your requests are inappropriate (I recommend that they present him with a list of those requests). (2) We’re not going to buy you those things. (3) Because you obviously don’t appreciate the things you already have, you are going to live without them until your inappropriate requests have stopped.

If, during the next two weeks, a request occurs, or displays any of the manipulative, self-dramatic behaviors you listed, the two weeks begins anew. He should have his stuff back within six weeks. Those six weeks will be some of the most memorable weeks of his life. That is, after all, the point.


Copyright 2012, John K. Rosemond

That's Not Fair!!

How often do you hear this proclamation in your home?

Kids have an acute sense of justice – at least when they are the ones that come up with the short end of the stick.

Think about it: how likely is it that your child would fervently protest the fact that her brother got a smaller piece of cake than she did? Hardly. Kids (and adults for that matter) care about equality when justice benefits them.

What kinds of subtle things do you do in your family to perpetuate this importance of fairness? Count Christmas gifts to make sure everyone gets the same amount? Buy something for one child out of necessity and then feel compelled to buy something for your other children to even the score? Do something special with one child and then smooth over hurt feelings, by promising to do something with your other children as well? Find yourself questioning your parenting decisions because “it wouldn't be fair”?

By putting fairness on such a high pedestal, we actually perpetuate a heart problem in our children – a heart that is focused on self.

Before we get to the “what can I do about it?” part of this blog, I want to direct you to a helpful piece of Scripture.

What the Bible Says about Fairness

In Corinthians chapter 6, Paul speaks harshly to the congregation at Corinth for their lawsuits among brothers. He asks in verse 7, “Why not rather be wronged? Why not rather be cheated?” 

It can be easy to gloss over this verse in the context of the rest of this passage. But let’s force ourselves to camp out here for a bit. What is Paul (God, rather) saying to us? Isn’t He saying that brotherly love and unity is better than justice? Wow. Better to let something be unfair than cause disunity and strife among brothers. Like so many things in the Christian life, God turns our norms upside down.

We may tell our children that they need to love one another, but if we perpetuate a priority of fairness with our actions, how deeply will those words take root in their hearts?

What You Can Do

1. Model humility. If your children can see you holding love and unity as the highest goal rather than fairness and restitution, they will have a living example after which they can pattern their reactions.
2. Watch out for favoritism. Maybe your need to ensure fairness is fueled by an underlying affinity toward one child. To combat this tendency, you may focus on fairness to cover it up. Cultivate unique and separate relationships with each of your children.
3. Talk about the impact of sin. The very fact that we are alive is “unfair.” Our sin nature requires death. The fact that we are here is a manifestation of God’s love and mercy. If we were to truly advocate for fairness, we would be asking for our own demise. When we can understand this reality, the fact that Jimmy got three more Skittles doesn't seem that important.
4. Stop “bean counting.” If you do, you will eventually find that your children will stop being focused on fairness as well. In fact, you will likely find that they develop hearts wanting to give of their bounty. And they will learn the ever-so valuable lesson that giving is just another form of receiving.
5. Study the above passage together as a family. And talk about the all-time, ultimate expression of “unfairness.”

And what was this ultimate in unfairness?

“. . . Christ Jesus:  Who, being in very nature God, did not consider equality with God something to be grasped; rather, he made himself nothing by taking the very nature of a servant, being made in human likeness.  And being found in appearance as a man, he humbled himself by becoming obedient to death –  even death on a cross”(Phil. 2:5-8).

Now that’s not fair.

Waiting on God's Timing

Think about today’s culture in which we live…

We eat a lot of fast food! Computers do much of our work in order to get things done quickly and in a timely manner! Homes have more technology than ever before in order to do more…and to do more quickly!  We are in a hurry most of our days!

The danger of living under such circumstances is that our need to have everything quickly and at our finger tips bleeds over into our spiritual lives. And, if we are not careful, we will attempt to take things into our own hands and rush them.

Doing so, can lead to disaster! Our impatience can often lead to:

Marrying the wrong person.
Taking the wrong job.
Quitting too early; quitting too late.
Joining the wrong church.
And on, and on, and on.
We can learn much from Bible people who needed to practice patience:

Abraham
David
Joseph

As is always the case, we find our answers related to patience in God’s Word. Check out these passages on patience:
Proverbs 3:5-6
Isaiah 41.10
Galatians 6:9
1 Peter 5:6-7
Psalm 40:1-2
So, what are you dealing with today that may require you to wait and be patient or is causing you anxiety because God hasn't “fixed” it yet?  Try this approach:

Pray sincerely about your issue.
Find a Bible verse related to that issue that you can claim every time it comes to your mind.
Daily yield that need to God with patience.
Throughout my years of ministry God has proven to me over and over that His timetable is best! I always end up with more of a blessing when things get “fixed” according to Him and His infinite wisdom!

7 Challenges to Strengthen Your Child's Relationship with God

If you’re worried about your children’s relationship with God, you’re not alone!  Parents are far busier these days than they were thirty years ago.  What does our bustling lifestyle mean about our children’s relationships with God?  The bottom line is probably scarier than we’d initially think.  One child expert puts it this way:

“Parents used to think that schools should teach reading, writing and ‘rithmetic, and parents should teach ethics, morality and spirituality.  These days, parents have shifted much of their training attention to academics as well.  Time that used to be spent talking about ‘how to be good’ is now spent on ‘how to be successful.’  If a child gets caught with candy in his pocket from the store that isn't paid for, harried parents are less apt to go through with the age-old custom of making the child take it back and confess.  Doing so takes too much time–and costs gas!”

Who is handling children’s moral and ethical development these days?  Even more importantly, who is putting in the daily time to make sure kids know Jesus and understand He is their friend?

God wants your children to know Him as much today as ever, and He’s willing to help out in fast-paced American lifestyles.  Hence, here are 7 mini-challenges to strengthen your child’s relationship with God.  Here’s the best news:  They don’t require any additions to your already busy schedule!  Rather, they involve using the time you have with your kids to God’s best advantage:

Challenge #1:  Share your spiritual thoughts with your kids.
We Christian adults often think of God five, ten, fifteen, or times in a day—sometimes in an hour!  We send up a prayer or imagine what God thinks of a news event, or even just feel His presence around us.  Regularly sharing those thoughts with kids will speak loudly of how connected you are to their God.  Just saying, “I was wondering today what God thought about the earthquake that happened last week,” can be a great conversation starter as well as a great example.

Challenge #2:  Raise questions to your kids that make them think.
Kids of very young school age can take a stab at questions like, “Do you think God has a favorite candidate in the election?” or “What would God like our family to do to serve the poor?” When they give their answer, you can give yours.  Great conversations often lead to Godly thinking, and they can be done while taking a walk, folding wash, or traveling.  Honestly listen for their answers and kids will feel inspired to think things through!

Challenge #3:  Share your personal spiritual challenges with your kids.
When you've been struggling with something spiritually, share it.  Kids are much closer to understanding matters of the spirit than we often give them credit for.   Sharing will not make you look weak in their eyes, but rather focused on finding answers.  You can mention just about any daily challenge, anything like, “I watched a horror movie today…I kind of felt God was not happy I was doing that.  What do you think?”

Challenge #4:  Encourage your kids to speak to God.
Especially older kids feel uncomfortable praying with parents, unless they have been raised that way since birth.  Even more important than praying with them, however, will be getting them in the habit of speaking to God when they are alone.  When kids present you with a tough challenge, your input is important, but start including, “Did you ask the Lord?”  You might say, “I would ask the Lord about that one.  Let me know what you think He says.  I’m really interested…”

Challenge #5:  Show kids how God is in school with them all day.
School is crowded and noisy and, in many cases, not very godly.  Kids can get confused about God’s presence there in ways that can hurt their relationship with him.  They can subconsciously adopt the idea that they leave God on the bus corner and come back to him at the end of the day.  Use conversation to remind kids that He is always there, both as a comfort and as a witness if they do something they shouldn't   When kids tell you about something bad that happened, be sure to include things like, “Wow, God saw that. He must have been upset.”  Remind kids often:  “God not only helped build that school, but he’s in there all day long!  He wants to help you there as well as home, even though it’s noisy and harder to hear him.  Trust me:  He can always hear you.”  

Challenge #6:  Talk when you walk; talk when you drive. 
Often when we’re driving our kids, we don’t think about talking to them.  Maybe there are other kids in the car, or maybe we’re just not used to engaging our kids in great conversations.  When driving, take time to share something with your kids about the Lord and how he was with you today. It may trigger a response or even a discussion!  If not, at least you've gotten it out in the open how important God is to you.  Many experts say walking is the best exercise.  Instead of doing the tread mill at the gym, take a brisk walk with your kids. Often we have to walk the family dog anyway—take one of your kids with you and pour out your thoughts about the Lord!

Challenge #7:  Don’t neglect your own spirituality.
Talk to God yourself during the day, and equally important, really listen when you've raised a question to Him or you need help and counsel.  James 1:5 says, “If any of you lacks wisdom, you should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to you.”  God will never tell you your question is stupid; he will never tell you to come back later, that he’s too busy.  God wants to communicate with you, no matter where you’re at or what’s going on in your life.  And the best way to get your kids to want to communicate with Him is to see the results in your own life.   You will be more peaceful, more joyful, and you will have plenty more to talk about with your kids!

How to talk about God with your kids.

Some parents are great conversationalists, some don’t naturally come by it.  However, one key ingredient to good conversation with your kids is not baby-talking.  You can simplify a concept for young children, but don’t be afraid to make them reach.  Such can not only make them feel important, but conversation exercises the brain far more than memorizing school concepts ever will.  Second, experts who deal in grief therapy or who counsel young children agree that kids can take a lot of truth, and their understanding is sometimes astonishing.  It’s more important to focus on including them in your spiritual thoughts than figuring out how to water a subject down.

The best way to make God seem bigger, more loving and more real is to make him a part of your regular routine, and the most logical place to start is with what comes out of your mouth.  If you’re used to thinking of your spiritual time as something separate from your “parent” time, try thinking instead of your spirituality as something that infuses every other thing you do.  No matter what else we do in life, we talk more than we do anything else.  The most logical move is to talk about Him, wherever you go.

Here are 10 great conversation starters about God with your kids
Most Christian parents have thoughts about Jesus throughout the day, and all that is required is opening up about what’s already on your mind.  Use the starters that feel natural to you, or think of others!

Talk about:
1.       Something you saw on the news that made you think of God or made you want to pray for the person.
2.       A scripture you read today or that went through your head and why.
3.       Something you wrote in your journal or read in a blog that either had to do with God or made you think of him.
4.       A personal difficulty that you've been praying about for guidance or direction.
5.       A family matter with extended relatives that is making you want God’s guidance (make sure the kids won’t tell the relatives!).
6.       Your latest tidbit about America’s schools, standardized testing, bullying, etc. and how you perceive God thinks of it.
7.       Something you prayed about for yourself or your family, even if it doesn't involve the kids directly.
8.       Something you discussed with a friend or neighbor and your Christian take on it.
9.       Something you felt the Lord shared with you, whether it was through an impression, actual words, or answered prayer.
10.      Something you saw in nature that made you think of God’s artistry, or his love, or even his judgment.

You don’t have to teach unless that comes naturally to you. Talking comes naturally to all of us, so let’s use the natural forces that work in our day to work for our kids. Talk about their relationship with God via these mini-challenges is a great way to sow seeds daily!

37 Practical Ways to Improve as a Parent

I posted this list from an article I read about a year ago. This is not meant to be an end all list, it is only meant to give us a jump start and reminder of what it means to be a parent.
Here is something you may never have thought of. By God letting us become parents is one of His primary methods of sanctification  Within marriage, you ultimately choose what you're willing to live with. You see, if you marry an angry person, you know you will have to learn to deal with your spouse's anger. If you marry a passive, or fearful, or impulsive person, in the end you have to admit you chose this person, and thus choosing your future battles.
With our children it is different. They already come out ready made with spiritual battles beforehand that we can't even begin to imagine. And God in His vast brilliance has the ability to place our child in our family to push just the right buttons to get under one or both of our skins.
Do you see the potential for spiritual growth?  This is enormous! Raising children will truly shape our souls.
So once again, here is this list. Read through them. Consider implementing one or two a month.

In random order:

1. Pray for your child in her presence at the start and close of each day. Keep it brief.

2. Tell your child you love him at least every other day.

3. Hug your child often (even if it’s just a shoulder hug for teens).

4. Give her a short note of encouragement at least monthly.

5. Spend at least 30 minutes of one-on-one time with him each week, and turn off your cell phone and PDA beforehand if you own them.

6. Leave an age-appropriate joke in your child’s lunch box or coat pocket occasionally.

7. Tell her you’re proud of her. Be specific why.

8. Surprise your child with a small gift that you know he’d appreciate.

9. Read the Bible or a devotional lesson together at least weekly.

10. Play a board or card game with your child.

11. Take your child out for breakfast or lunch at least monthly.

12. Take off work early to cheer him on at an after-school activity.

13. Give your child an encouraging card, e-card or e-mail message.

14. Leave an inspirational quote on your child’s pillow before his bedtime.

15. Learn a Bible verse or passage together.

16. Hug your child and tell her “I love you” after disciplining her.

17. Watch one of your child’s favorite TV programs together.

18. Praise your child in front of his teachers or peers.

19. Teach her a new skill of yours.

20. Make a meal of his choice with him for dinner.

21. Serve with your child somewhere in your community – such as a nursing home, homeless shelter or hospital.

22. Ask your child to forgive you for something you did to her recently, such as losing your temper.

23. Pray for your child for five minutes every day.

24. Pray often for God to grow you as a parent.

25. Join your child in doing a random act of kindness for a neighbor.

26. Play catch with him.

27. Rent a funny movie, pop popcorn and laugh hysterically together.

28. Help your child with homework. Commit to being very patient!

29. Hold a family faith night – do a fun activity, read a Bible passage and pray together.

30. Prioritize healthy eating and exercise habits for your whole family. Reward your kids when they achieve milestones.

31. Plan a fun weekend or day trip away for the two of you.

32. Take lots of pictures of your child and your family.

33. Devote yourself to only disciplining your child in love. This may mean delaying discipline for a few minutes while you collect your emotions and pray.

34. Put a picture of her in your wallet or purse. Look at it and thank God for something about her daily.

35. Give your child something from your childhood that was valuable to you. Explain why it was valuable and why you’re giving it to him.

36. Celebrate your child’s successes with enthusiasm.

37. Be the first one to encourage your child when she experiences pain or failure.

Question: What would you add to the list?

What is happening to my precious baby??

It seems that as of recently I have been asked about what is happening with these children of the ages 2-4. They seem unruly, out of control, without manners, and totally disrespectful.  You know what my answer is..."Yes."
I love the way John Rosemond describes and directs this mother who feels that her child is uncontrollable.

Here is the article. Hope this helps...


Question: When I ask him to do something, my 2-year-old screams “No!” and then swings at me. When he hits me, I firmly reprimand him and try to put him in time-out, but that only makes matters worse. I've tried ignoring his screaming, but that doesn't work. What should I do?

Answer: He must be your first child. Or, your first child was the one child in a hundred who wasn't a “terrible” two. In either case, it’s behavior of the sort you describe -- illogical, irrational, violent—that has given this age child such a bad reputation. It’s also why one of my graduate school psychology professors maintained that toddlers were psychotic.

Stories of this sort also belie the romantic notion that human nature is fundamentally good. I’ll just bet your son has never seen anyone haul off and hit someone. Nonetheless, he tries to hit you. That’s because the tendency toward violence when he doesn't get his way is in his DNA. It’s why God made sure that human children, unlike the offspring of other species, do not grow to full size in one or two years.

I could have told you that time-out wasn't going to work. It works on the aforementioned one toddler in a hundred. And as for ignoring this sort of behavior, I don’t know anyone who has that sort of fortitude. Besides, the terrible 2-year-old won’t tolerate being ignored. It drives him into a frenzy.

But I have the solution. At least, it’s worked for numerous other parents of equally psychotic toddlers. Cut his bedroom door in half. Re-hang the lower half, creating a “Dutch” door. Oh, and just to be “safe,” turn the lock around. When your son screams, attempts to hit, or begins to show any other symptoms of imminent psychosis, pick him up, put him in his room, close the half-door, and lock it. Then walk away. Let him vent for as long as he needs to vent in order to realize that his bedroom is now his venting place -- his only venting place. When he is calm, or reasonably so, go back, unlock the door, pull it open, and walk away. Don’t say things like “Are you ready to be good?” or anything equally counterproductive. Act as if nothing has happened between picking him up and opening his door.

The key to the success of this tried-and-true method is to get him to his room as quickly as possible after an episode begins. In fact, if you even see him warming up to an episode, take him to his room. Do this for two weeks. If my experience serves me well, that’s how long it will take for him to begin “getting it.”


Two more things: First, keep it simple. When it comes to giving instructions to your son, don’t ask; tell. There’s a world of difference between “It’s time for you to pick up your toys” and “How about being a good boy and picking these toys up for Mommy, okay?” Toddlers respond much more cooperatively to declarations that they do requests. Second, make it easy. Don’t give a toddler more than two toys to play with at once. That simplifies the job of picking them up, and makes screaming a lot less likely.