Romancing Your Wife - 20 Ideas

It seems that during this crazy and fast paced life we all live as husband and wife, and especially as the years increase in our marriages, we forget to romance our spouses. We forget how we treated them when we were dating. They were all we could think of.  We spent many an hour coming up with ways we could show them we love them…then comes children, then comes careers, then comes life…

I was surprised by 5 large, red, Mylar heart balloons today from Kerry. When I asked her what they were for, she replied, “I just wanted you to know how much I love you.” She went out of her way to “romance” me. Yes, we will serve each other as we go throughout the daily routine; however, she went out and did something above and beyond, yet very simple, to just say, “I love you.”

It got me to thinking, when was the last time I truly “romanced” my wife? When was the last time I showed her that I am still madly in love with her by being simply romantic? So as I thought about this, I also tried to come up with 20 ways to romance my wife. As I wrote these down, I also realized that I have not done all these, but I should take time to. We are to be “one flesh” with our wives, we are to be active in our marriages, to “serve and preserve” the families God has ordained for each of us. I will use this list as a stepping stone and become more active in the “romance” of my beloved.

Hopefully you will find some of these helpful too...

1. Develop a special sign or secret word just for her that communicates your love.

2. Using dry-erase markers, leave a note to your sweetie on the bathroom mirror.

3. Look in her eyes and just listen.

4. Over coffee ask your wife, “What are the three most romantic times we've had together?” Remember what they are and make plans to do them again.

5. Next time you’re sitting with your wife in church, reach out and put your arm around her.

6. Hold her hand whenever you are in public together.

7. Compliment your wife in front of others-especially your kids! You may be the only one in her life who’s doing it.

8. Take time out of your day and cook her dinner. Then have a quiet dinner together. You also clean up too.

9. Leave roses in the front seat of her vehicle-just because.

10. Send her flirtatious text messages for her eyes only.

11. Arrange a date with your wife at least once a month. Mark it on the calendar and take the initiative to make it happen.

12. Next time your favorite team or show is on TV, skip it and take her shopping or out to dinner. Spend time with her instead. Let her know she is the most important person on this earth.

13. Ask your wife to write down three things she’d like you to start doing, three things she’d like you to stop doing, and three things she’d like you to keep doing. Read the list and do it.

14. Arrange for a babysitter and then whisk your wife away on a special day filled with fun things she enjoys.

15. Remember how much you talked when you were dating? How polite you were? Try that for one week and watch what happens.

16. Make each other laugh.

17. Leave her a scavenger hunt of notes and clues for a romantic getaway. Make it another honeymoon and invest in your marriage.

18. Remain faithful to your wife in your heart, in your mind, and in your actions!

19. Remember your wife is God’s gift to you. Thank Him for her daily, and then tell her you did so.

20. Ask God to reveal to you how you can love her like you have never loved her before and how you will never love her like that again, then do it!

Finally, chocolates never hurt either…

So husbands, in closing the best romantic advice I can share with you, “If you want to be a stronger husband, then focus on becoming a stronger disciple of Jesus.” I know for a fact that Kerry finds that the most romantic act I can share with her. 

Daylight Savings Torture … I Mean, Time

With the “delightful” Spring forward that occurred this weekend, I thought this post was worth re-sharing!


I’ve certainly heard it and thought it a million times: “Time changes were created by someone who doesn't have children.”



Trying to get children adjusted to a suddenly adjusted schedule can be daunting at best and torturous at worst. No one wants to go to bed when it’s light outside. Hopes of a later bedtime meaning a later wake-up are often crushed by disoriented toddlers.

Here are some tips on getting your children adjusted to the time change:
Don’t skip naps in hopes of having your child go to sleep earlier. Overtired children often resist sleep.
If your child is old enough to understand, explain the time change and why it began. Not only will this help them understand why it is light outside at 8 p.m., it makes a great history lesson at home!
Don’t be too stringent about bedtime the first week after the time change. Let kids go to sleep 30-45 minutes later than normal and edge back toward their regular bedtime. Keep their routine the same, though, because those steps can communicate “bedtime” more than outside conditions.
A friend suggests having your child use a sleeping mask as young as age 4. This helps block out sunlight and allows them to get to sleep despite light coming in the windows. She said it really did the trick for her daughter!

Also interesting is that exercise helps your body produce seratonin, which aids in resetting your internal clock. So if you are having difficulty adjusting yourself, a good workout might be the remedy!

Adult Child

Our guest writer again this week is John Rosemond, a Christian family counselor and psychologist. Great article on how to deal with the "adult child" in our lives that never seems to grow up. Enjoy...

Adult Child
by John Rosemond

Question: My husband and I have a 21-year-old daughter from his first marriage. She was suspended from college for bad grades and is waiting out her time until she can go back. Meanwhile, she works for my husband to earn a little spending money, but rent and food are free. The problem is that her work performance is consistently poor and she is consistently disrespectful. She won’t listen to instructions and takes forever to do anything. Meanwhile, her dad is going slowly insane. She’s disrespectful at home as well. I think he should fire her; then we should kick her out of the house and let her fend for herself. What do you think?

Answer: Whenever someone asks me if I intend to ever write a book on how to deal with irresponsible, disrespectful young adult children, I answer, "Well, no publisher will accept a book that consists of only two words: Stop Enabling!" As long as this child (her chronological age may be 21, but I estimate her emotional age at 14) can do as she pleases and still enjoy all the comforts of home, she will continue to do as she pleases.

Yes, give her her walking papers, and the sooner the better for all concerned. That is, believe me, the only solution. To grow up, this child needs to experience the slings and arrows of the real world and learn to deal with them without protections. That applies to a lot of young adults these days, by the way.

Copyright 2012, John K. Rosemond

10 Things I Hope Sam and Baylee Have Learned From Our Marriage

Just recently, Kerry and I were asked  if we intentionally taught the girls about marriage.

The answer is yes… and, no.

Yes, there are times when we've talked specifically about marriage (either ours or ones that our kids have observed). But, for the most part, Kerry and I have been wise enough to know that our kids are constantly watching and learning from us. Our actions (both good and bad) are always teaching them about marriage.

I would be thrilled if my daughters had a similar type of marriage that Kerry and I share… it’s definitely not perfect, but we’re both very proud of what we've developed over almost 23 years.

Here are 10 things that I know Samantha and Baylee have observed from us over the years:

1. Affection: Kerry & I are very affectionate and I like having the girls see me holding their mom’s hand, hugging, kissing, cuddling, etc… as often as I can.

2. Saying, “Please forgive me”: I want to be quick to use this phrase and I want my kids to hear me say it (and I have to say it a lot more than Kerry). Too often than not, we also forget to ask for forgiveness from our children.

3. Affirmation: This is one of my primary love languages so it’s easy for me to dish out encouraging words. The girls get a lot of verbal affirmation, but they also hear me directing it towards Kerry (which is really easy).

4. Attraction: I think Kerry is hot… and, I make it known around our family. I’ll regularly say, “ Isn't your mom beautiful?”

5. Time: The girls know that we like to spend time together. When they see us steal time away to go run an errand together, go for a walk, or go on a date night, or sneak away for the weekend…that’s a good message I want them to see.

6. Laughter: We laugh a lot in our house and Kerry's quick wit and amazing sense of humor cracks me up. I like having the girls see that Kerry makes me laugh.

7. Respect: Opening the door for Kerry, saying “thank you” and “please” and showing her simple signs of respect.

8. Faith conversations: We’re not always praying in front of our kids, but they hear and see our faith conversations and know that we’re always talking about Jesus and what it means to be a follower.

9. The value of friends: Our house is well worn from the traffic of friends in/out of our house. We love having people over and the Vivian Casa is a regular hangout for some incredible friends, both the girls and ours.

10. Servanthood: I know the girls have had a great example in Kerry and myself as we have chosen to serve each other throughout our marriage. Always asking, “How can I help? What do you need to make life better?” Serving one another is seen in the daily, little things and there’s many opportunities to serve.

Our children are always watching their parent’s marriage and yet too many marriages underestimate the power of modeling! Children are taking daily recordings of what a marriage looks like and those recordings are definitely influencing and shaping their view of marriage.

Take time to be that reflection of Christ and His love, using your marriage as the foundation, to your children.

Dumb Things Kids Do with Smart Phones

The term smart phone refers to the gadget—not necessarily the user! Here is an interview with Detective Rich Wistocki, a veteran police investigator and parent educator, about problematic preteen phone habits.

JS: What should parents do before they give their preteens a smart phone?

Wistocki: Understand one thing: Apple handheld devices cannot be monitored. Only Android phones can be monitored. I would start off by not getting my [child] an iPhone, first and foremost.

Parents must speak often and honestly to their children about the usage expectations. Don’t forget, you are the parent! You own this phone. You have the right to monitor activity on it [and] ensure everyone is behaving as agreed to.

JS: What are some dumb mistakes make using their smart phones?

Wistocki: Sending photos and uploading them to Facebook and other sites. Cameras are so easy to use … there is no time to double-think the decision [to post]. Geotagging—a picture can contain an exact location, so when it is sent or posted online, kids are (sometimes unknowingly) posting exactly where they are through the geotags. [Parents should] turn geotags off in the phone’s settings.

JS: Free phone apps are tempting to download. Which ones are unwise for preteens to use?

Wistocki: Apps where kids connect freely with strangers are the most dangerous—apps like Taproom and Words With Friends. These are fantastic vehicles for predators to find, groom, and then prey upon unsuspecting victims. Kids know all about “not friending people you don’t know online,” but I am not sure this mindset has expanded to apps.

JS: How can parents monitor phone use?

Wistocki: Talk about it with the cell phone providers when [the phones are purchased] . They can illustrate safe settings and options. Check out outside monitoring companies like TrueCare. Kids are more tech savvy than their parents around all these new technologies. Parents need to rely on monitoring services, software, and controls to ensure everything is okay online.

Table Terror

Our guest writer this week is from John Rosemond, a Christian family counselor and psychologist. Great article on how to deal with that Table Terror we call a Toddler. Enjoy...



Table Terror
by John Rosemond

Question: Our 18-month-old is a table terror! While I'm preparing dinner, she walks around acting like she’s starving, but as soon as we sit her in her highchair she takes a few bites and then wants down, screams, cries, and will sometimes throw food. Through all this, our 5- and 3-year-old try to talk to us but can't get a word in for all the chaos. We absolutely dread eating in a restaurant. How should we address her behavior?

Answer: I've said it before, but it bears saying again: Until they are at least 3, maybe 4, and in some cases even 5, children should be fed before everyone else in the family sits down to eat, even if the everyone else in question consists of husband and wife only. Including a child this age in the family meal is an open invitation to trouble. As you describe, they can be relied upon to disrupt in all manner of creative ways.

After your daughter has eaten her fill, let her get down, and then, but only after she's occupied with something, serve those who qualify as civilized. If she wants to get back up to the table while everyone else is eating, which is going to be the case for a while, just pull out a regular chair for her, put a plate in front of her, give her some finger food, and pay her as little attention as possible. If she begins to disrupt, pick her up, take her to her crib, and let her scream her lungs out until everyone's finished. A little background noise shouldn't result in indigestion.

In general, I'm convinced this problem is largely due to giving the infant/toddler entirely too much attention during the family meal. Under the circumstances, the child gets used to being the center of attention and becomes increasingly disruptive as a consequence. If you insist upon having a young one at the table, give finger food, then ignore as much as possible. Carry on conversation "over her head." But always stand, or sit, ready to remove them and put them where the only person they disrupt is themselves.

Copyright 2012, John K. Rosemond

It Is Your Responsibility to Fix My Kid!

I have copied an article written by Al Menconi. He is an author and speaker on raising Christ-centered children in a Media Driven society.  This article left me with a lot to think of as a parent myself. Enjoy! 







Fix My Kid 

An article from Al Menconi

“Train a child in the way he should go, and when he is old, he will not turn from it.” 

Most parents I have spoken with desire to fulfill this verse from Proverbs 22:6. The question I am usually asked is, “How is it done? How can we train our children to love God and live for Him?” 
I’m sorry to say, the majority of Christian parents I encounter believe this verse means we should lecture our children about Jesus and then send them to church and Sunday school to follow instructions from their teachers. “Here’s my child, Mr. Sunday School Teacher. Here’s my child, Ms. Youth Leader. Fix my kid. Teach my kid about Jesus.” 
I have talked to hundreds of parents who have tried this approach, and they failed to understand why their children have no desire to live for Jesus. 
In fact, the vast majority of children raised by Christian parents will not live for Jesus as adults. How can this be? If what we believe is true and the majority of our children are rejecting this truth, we need to reexamine our methods of conveying this message of hope to our children. 
Deuteronomy 6:7 indicates how God would have us teach our children to love Him. The two verses before that (5–6) are commands that we should love the Lord with all our heart, soul, and strength and that the commandments of God should be in our heart. Then in 6:7 we are told to “Impress them on your children. Talk about them when you sit at home and when you walk along the road, when you lie down and when you get up.” 

This verse is a command for us to teach our children at four specific times: 

• When we sit down as a family
• When we are walking together
• When we lie down
• When we arise

When the typical Christian family is sitting at home, the television, Internet, DVDs, or video games have much of the attention. The television and other media activity are doing most of the teaching. The worst part is that research has shown these sources of entertainment are also effective teaching tools that are probably teaching values against the Word of God.
In today’s society, people seldom use walking as a means of family transportation, but we drive cars. What is usually happening when the typical family is in the car? They are probably listening to the radio and CDs or watching videos. And what teaching is taking place? For the most part, the entertainment in the car is teaching a philosophy against biblical values. Another missed opportunity. 
How about when families lie down and when they get up? In other words, what are families doing when they go to bed at night and get out of bed in the morning? So many go to bed watching the news or late night talk shows and then arise to the local talk or rock radio station. 
Think about it. Even if the television, DVDs, games, and radio programs were not against biblical values, God says these times are prime opportunities for teaching our children to love Him. Are you redeeming the time?